Since childhood, I knew I was an odd person. I grew up in a household that frowned upon me being myself or being comfortable in my own skin. My family would dismiss or flat out laugh at my interests while the main interests of the household were considered acceptable & normal.
In school, I was terrified of expressing myself or sharing any opinions because I figured if I am being judged in the comfort of my own home, then I’ll damn sure be judged by the rest of the world. I had very few friends because of this. No surprise. It didn’t help that my parents didn’t believe in me having a social life, but at least I learned to enjoy being alone. I think it’s important for children to have some type of social life, keeping them safe in the process, as well as being able to express themselves. With me never having that in my upbringing, I made sure to go full throttle when it comes to self-expression once I entered adulthood.
The clothes I love to wear, the music that keeps me going, & everything else that makes me feel comfortable & proud of who I am, I make sure to express proudly. I am a black woman who dresses alternatively, listens to heavy metal & is god awful at small talk. I naturally come off as unapproachable since I rarely smile, so I adore when people start conversations with me because of the band shirts I wear or sharing stories about my tattoos & hearing other people’s stories in return. This blog is another opportunity to express myself, but what makes it even better is that I can also form connections with others with similar stories as well as with those who are ready to break out of their shells and live authentically.
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